Reluctant Scrooge-ette

Reluctant Scrooge-ette trying to overcome external forces to enjoy her life.

At least for the moment, insomnia reigns nights and ruins my days. Hope to reverse this trend but not thinking about it too much at the moment. It's in the teens outside and I need to remember to bring the cat in charge of the house back in.

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR GINA!! It's your something anniversary of your 29th...and we in frigid central WA wish our friend every happiness on your day! We love you!)

MD appt this Friday to talk about the sleep study.

Worked late and almost missed a family dinner tonight. I was the one in the scene that roars in at the last minute with the anti-holiday attitude, out of sorts and disinterested. I did what I could to put on the game face and enjoy but I wasn't proud of myself.

Most of it was driven by the underperforming co-worker who gave me her next revision of a pretty big book project at work. At least two-thirds of the edits excellent co-worker had made, were not done. Therefore, mark it up again and return it. The same thing happened at lunch where I was asked at the last split second to shepherd a revision of a simple product. Four edits and running into the noon presentation deadline later, typos, mixed up sentences and other. It took me to a dark place that I am not sure how to extract myself. Although I was promised no interaction with her, I am steeped in it. Think good thoughts, send solutions. I am documenting so I have a valid trail--thanks for the tip Richard. In the real world, termination would be an old memory and someone capable and hungry for the great job would be turning out pretty professional products.

Second complaint of the day: stepdaughter tells her father she is going to GED school for testing. I talked to the administrator, there is no GED testing at night in Dec. It all takes place at 8:30 in the morning. Grandpa had the kids so the "testing" could happen. I was in the little down town down the road to get items for tomorrow's work potluck and noticed the community college was totally dark and boarded up during GED testing time. I don't participate in the pretend anymore. As much as I would like to be supportive...I will support reality.

Need to bring out more holiday decor. It's looking very deserted in our usually festive living room. And put on the happy holiday face. Underneath, I am happy but I just can't seem to get out of first gear with it.

On a bright note, found the blue collar radio channel and it cheers me up both to and from work like no other!

Daughter has her senior prom this Saturday. I vow not to have the discussion to try to force her to wear a coat over her strapless shoulders...unless...and I hear snow and ice are on the way...there is snow and ice. I know she will throw the coat off when she gets into the car. And she will be 18 in 48 days. That is extraordinary and this is the last high school dance I get to watch unfold through teenage planning. I will miss it terribly.

And, I miss my big kids.

TTFN fa la la la la....la la la la..............