Friday night and the girl is out, come on over to the twist and shout

Actually am just home fresh off a sweet young friend's 19th BD party; it was a family hoedown with 17 attendees. I loved sitting around the dinner table just visiting. My daughter on my right, my better half on my left and random birthday conversation was bantered around the circle of friends and family. Just right. Nearly perfecto way to conclude quite a week.
Tomorrow we travel to PDX for the very fun day of celebrating son's 25th bd. OMG. How can I possibly be a quarter century older. This is my first born we brought home to sleep in the bottom dresser drawer for a little while until payday when we could finish buying his bassinet (it was on layaway). I heard a baby crying in the night and it kept crying. It was like a something I was dreaming. Son's dad said, aren't you going to get up and take care of your son? Oh that's right! I had a son! We had just bought a one bedroom house the size of three car stalls at A&W. But it was ours. I drove an orange VW and the ex a beater truck. And I held the boy on my lap, wrapped in a new stretchy blue cotton baby blanket (car seats were not widely available then) all the way home from Walla Walla in the beater truck, touching his soft as flower petal skin. He was a miracle.
Morphing on March 1 25 years ago, from a singleton to a mother, was profound in too many ways to recall. All positive. Love and meaning bigger than any notion out there...
And tomorrow we will gather with the three foot cake I found at the local bakery, in the jacuzzi suite and have us a day! Meet son's gf for the first time; youngest daughter will stay all night with brother and icing on the cake, my college roommate is able to join our festivities! EEHAA. If older daughter, Typing Vigorously were with us, it would be so perfect.

Speaking of the sweet girl who turns 23 on April 1; she had a bad shock this week; found out her ex-step-sister was the victim of a horrible meth lab related fire a couple days ago. Daughter is so caring and sensitive and is trying to process deep unexpected grief.
Let it go and feel it all daughter. There is nothing magical about grief except to process it and hang on to the good memories and allow the rest to rest in peace. It's a tough thing to listen to a child suffer and be unable to make the pain go away.
Full on sun today. Oh it was life changing, this winter has been long, dark, wet, dreary. More, soon, please.
I need to sleep. Stayed up too late last night.
Much more soon, TTFN

being bad as a sorietygurl

I am a sorietygurl now. Facebook has an application which is totally riveting--i am a true anti-social so its living vicariously as a mini skirted avatar.
What a horrendous drive home in pouring cant see one thing in front of me downpour.
Wet, cold, i opted for kfc instead of salad too wet to getout of the car to get salad supplies.
ttfn

Here's some heaven on earth

BACON WHOOPEE

What’s that you’re eating? A chocolate eclair? A bean and cheese burrito? Peach yogurt? Pan-seared salmon with buckwheat soba noodles? Whatever it is, we know what you’re saying to yourself right now:

“This would be so much better if it tasted like bacon.”OK, nobody ever says that (except bacon oholics--count me in). But that didn’t stop J&D from concocting not one, not two, but three varieties of Bacon Salt. From Original to Hickory to Peppered, this will satisfy all but the most pathological bacon fiend. Bacon up your morning coffee! Sprinkle it on the cake at the next wedding you attend for a taste treat the bride and groom will never forget, or forgive! Keep some in your pocket to throw into the eyes of assailants! No fat, no calories, vegetarian, and kosher certified: your only valid excuse for not slathering your meals in J&D’s Bacon Salt is sanity.

Features:

• Zero calorie, zero fat, safe for vegetarians, and Kosher certified seasoning salt that tastes like real bacon
• Makes everything taste like bacon
• Everything should taste like bacon
• 1/4th tsp. serving size
• Contains 135mg of sodium per serving size or 6% daily value on a 2,000 calorie diet
• Great to put on eggs, grilled meats or fish, vegetables, potatoes, or any kind of food

Main Ingredients:

• Sea Salt
• Dehydrated Garlic
• Paprika (spice and coloring)
• Dehydrated Onion
• Corn Syrup

20 thangs and let the sun shine!

I was supposed to sleep in this morning, but instead its a 4:30 wake up. I am just going with my body these days. I am not in charge, my middle age body is.

The list below is from a Facebook funny, where you type your name and the word "needs" into your favorite search engine, then create a list from the responses that make sense to you. *Yes time could be better spent, but aren't we all reading the Internet in lieu of doing other things?

Here is my list:
Google says Deb needs. . .
1.Deb needs help with whole words.
2. Deb needs a saddle.
3. Deb needs to police this forum to keep it troll-free.
4. Deb needs toilet paper.
5. Deb doesn't know what she needs!
6. deB nEeDs C o F fe E tImE
7. Deb needs cash, stat!
8. Deb needs a second guitarist (are you busy?)
9. Deb needs to look behind her!
10. Deb needs to trim her Chinese Pistache!
11. Deb needs money so she can buy advertising and print!
12. Deb needs a maid.
13. Deb needs to have no doubt!
14. Deb needs a truck!
15. Deb needs a variety in her undies.
16. Deb needs to just nourish her hair to restore it.
17. Deb needs to have a little fun.
18. Deb needs to stop bullies.
19. Deb needs to be installed.
20. Deb needs your help to get back to Austin!

Yesterday I left for work in a good mood; by the time I got home, I was unpleasant. And I was admittedly unpleasant at work when a peer co-worker (not a supervisory co-worker, a peer and also someone I enjoy) decided a process in a program I manage needed adjustment based on her observation of a one time faux paus which occurred because of a management failure to communicate down some pertinent, tho not critical information. I was unhappy she decided to take charge (I don't report to her), was unhappy she interjected herself into the process when in truth she is not available most of the time to review the part of the process she said needs review. I took offense for many reasons and to my shame, showed my impatience with her thoughts which were based on her observation rather than facts. All of this is very petty in the main, but was more telling of my need to cowboy up my game face when faced with criticism. I will be working on that.
A former mentor told me years ago a professional is one who never lets their true feelings take over. The dialogue must always remain professional no matter the topic, no matter who is in the hot seat. I failed on all counts, I was defensive many times over, I was downright prickly and very impatient and it all showed in spades. This is my age showing. When I came home I was all poopy about it too. Anything James said, I was contrary. I was not a nice person most of the night. I kept turning the interaction over and over in my head. I boiled it down to this: I am used to being in charge of my own program, have done it for years and I miss it. After I came to that conclusion, I put myself to bed.
Today will be a good day; I will it so.
Let the sunshine!

ChaChing pennies from heaven

I know its a deep character flaw to publicly discuss good luck, but color me one of the weakest because it is the next day and I am still pinching myself: I gave myself a few hours off yesterday on President's Day. I wanted to do something mindless, not domestic or task oriented after stopping by work then hitting my usual thrift store haunts with no luck I got a flash to park myself in front of a penny machine at the local casino. I put in a 20 spot, bet 25 cents, hit 20 bucks then hit 20 bucks. At 60 bucks I switched up to a $2 bet. In what seemed like seconds, a bunch of bells and lights started flashing and a white flashing notice pulsated on the face of my machine screen to get an attendant, jackpot. I hit a penny progressive. Whoa... It seemed like it took days for them to go through the process of authenticating the win, paperwork, ID. Then they said play it off with a spin. The next spin gave me a second progressive win. OMG. At that point I am texting my family, calling them saying hey! this is shocking, amazing and very out of body. I promptly loaded up the stack of 100s they gave me and drove home whereby we had our favorite chinese hot and sour to discuss it. Considering our fortune to be in the fourth year of litigation with the State of WA over James' on the job injury, this will be a boost for us--if one can read between the lines. But you can also be sure I will enjoy one small indulgance somewhere in the midst of banking my penny win. The question is, what shall it be. I am leaning toward a facial! Gimme your ideas

Lovable CURmudgeon & Gr8t V Day

Gran Torino and Clint Eastwood. Every thumb and digit up. We took in a late night show tonight to conclude a very excellent, relaxing V Day......whoaaa.. do not miss this show... Everyone in the show was changed by dirty harry fastforward 30 years + filthier vocabulary. CURmudgeon.
And yes we had fresh red raspberries on our brunch menu at high noon, grand biscuits, sausage, cougar gold cheese, chocolates, maple bars, starbucks, oj and good company. The valentine fairy brought azaleas, asst chocolates, card...so sweet..
Daughter's concluding her VD in Disneyland (oh we r all so jelous+1 great idea!). Cant wait to hear all about it.
Tired, more soon! TTFN

Will write for RASPBERRIES!

Superb reading: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/12/14/magazine/2008_IDEAS.html

I am sitting here at 9 p.m. finishing writing speeches for two of my friends to give at their separate outings this week. One of them I said I would do it for free. But around 8:30 and I dont feel so overly well yet, I said it would cost them raspberries. See above. Raspberry love knows no boundaries!!

amen

More on the bye and bye

Now that I am back from the land of disgustingly sick, and done with it I hope, I feel observant enough of the malingering winter weather to complain about it. Enough already! It's soon mid-February and we are still existing beneath fog, rain, ice, sleet, fog, dank, wet, slick. A 16 year old girl and and 25 year man were both killed in the last two weeks on slick roads. How much of their accidents were attributed to stupid is one question, but enough please of this depressing weather.
I am seriously thinking of finding some of those pseudo sun lights to keep winter-itus at bay. Better half is taking melatonin by pill and he is finding good results. I am a pillophobic and don't want anymore pills in me than necessary. He says his winter blahs are pretty much gone; my blahs are intermittently in charge.
Son and his gf are coming a week from this weekend. We will yes indeed be celebrating his 25th bd.....impossible that my firstborn can be 25. (mom's eyes get glassy and the reminiscing could potentially start here). Looking forward to meeting his Amanda and celebrating his quarter of a century big day! How is it he has been gone for 7 years...that seems so impossible too...(and yes I hate it...you too Mer!)
Youngest passed her senior project oral presentation last night. Good. We are edging ever closer to May 31...
Better half and I are back to our paint and furniture discussion; he hates my burgandy lazyboy couch and loveseat (built to last a lifetime!); I hate his white romeo single guy white leather couch; I hate the white walls; he hates color. We are close to one of us caving in and making a change. Stay tuned!
Need to start reading again. So behind in the areas of my life that matter to me. The honest truth is I just tonight, drug the last of the xmas boxes out of the backroom and into the garage....
SF daughter and her fella are spending two full days in Disneyland for their Valentines Day. How fun and adorable! She is lucky to have a social planner in the family.
Lots more but tired now. As my favorite gram used to say: "More on the bye and bye."
TTFN

Me and Michelle

When we were on vacation last year, this poodle was hamming it up in the truck next me. Better half had gone into the convenience store and this girl was talking to me like a neighbor over the fence. When I got the camera out, she gave me this pose!

My last post had the ends of the sentences cut off...darn it. Hope you were able to fill in the blanks OK...if not, it was probably too much information anyway.
This is day 3 of being sick. I woke up Friday with the lousy feeling and its progressing to barking sore throat, hot and cold flashes, ringing ears. Drinking lots of air borne. No matter that Uncle Sam sued them for overpromising results, I get improvement from the stuff. This too shall pass, sooner is better as I have no patience for staying down.
WINTER won't let go! We have frozen tree limbs, frozen roads and freezing temperatures, freezing fog. Just a couple days of sun would restore so many.
STIMULUS: What does that really mean? I see the politicos are still being partisan in the depths of the second worst recession in our history. I am tracking votes of our local officials serving in DC. If they didn't contribute to a solution, they are going to hear from me and NOT receive my vote. If the current bill passes, new homeowners can get a $15k credit...how about current homeowners losing their home. Nearly 700,000 (depending on which newspaper you read) Americans lost their jobs last month. Our total US unemployment rate is 7.2 percent (its over 9 in nearby Oregon). How about a credit for the people losing their home? Not only is it devasting for them but do the banks really want these repos? It would seem that repos would keep the banks liquidity and bottom lines fragile.
BIRTHDAYS: We keep celebrating them around here. We have celebrated BDs for 18 year old, 52, 80 and have son's 25th and daughter's 23rd and grandson's 7th all in the weeks ahead. It's all good but ....so much cake equals so little good eating habits!
TEXTING and FACEBOOK: It's how I am staying connected to my kids, family and friends. Talking on the cell phone feels almost obsolete.
DREAMS: I am dreaming again, which is far better than the silent sleep I have been having. Last night I was walking down our little main street with First Lady Michelle Obama. We went into my favorite bistro for coffee and were hearing all about how another newspaper editor quit. Oh brother. It was really relaxed and kind of cool, but I couldnt get the photo feature on my cell phone to work to get a photo of Michelle and I.
I MISS WRITING FOR A LIVING. Yes I do.
TTFN

25 Things

Notes about Deb

25 Random Things About Me

1. I was born 9 months and 2 weeks after my parent's wedding day: so I have felt I have always had love child bragging rights!

2. My life honestly began when each of children were laid in my arms; when I touched each child for the first time I became serene and felt an incredible overwhelming love; my place on the planet felt defined and the context of life made sense; the life I led before my kids seems now, while good, pale and self-indulgent. My son and two daughters are so amazing I am always afraid somehow they will be repo'd and given to their rightful parents!

3. I am a firm believer in intuition, responding to the inner voice and angels. More than once I have found myself where I needed to be, in response to an emergency situation, that I didnt know had happened. I just showed up and family members said, "Hey! We have been trying to call you."

4. I am a polio survivor. I got a swine flu shot when I was 20 from bad Army flu vaccine. I nearly died quite a few times during my three months in ICU, but was too young to really think it would happen. I was irritated that I was inconvenienced by being sick! I weighed 96 pounds when I was discharged from the hospital and went to college using a walker...and obviously ate my way back up to good health!

6. I won $5,000 twice playing BINGO and I am not really a BINGO player. Once right before Xmas and another time while goofing off with a friend in NM. The time in NM it happened so fast I didn't know what was happening. My name was put on a wheel and spun. If the ball had landed over just one slot I would have won $1million. Both BINGO wins I had just dropped in on impulse. My dad and I were staying at a motel in NV when we took a road trip; if I hadn't dropped the third quarter on the floor I would have won $25,000. Since there were just two quarters in the machine they paid me $2,500 in hundreds. That was the first night of our road trip....

7. I am dyslexic and pretty sure I have adult ADD. Left is right and right is left; when I am tired I mix up letters in words and watch out telephone numbers! I have to be doing 10 things at once, which is why it's good I am a project person on the job.

8. I live to be in the sun. When it's warm, I feel capable and happy. When it's winter, dark and cold I want to roll up in a quilt and hibernate, literally, until spring.

9. I love dirt therapy. If there is a job outside working in the dirt,I want that job to be mine. Right now I am plotting out the veges that will reside in the summer 09 vege garden. I want to try some new flowers too. Although I claim my thumb is black both in gardening and the kitchen, I am finding with each outing, the results are better and better.

10. I am a bonafide foodie and backroads junkie. I pretty much know the menu, house special, hours of operation and the perfect backroad to get to any restaurant in NE and Central Oregon and NE and Central Washington. I love life off the main road...the view is real, unhurried and untouched. I love to enjoy food of all kinds and when I find a place that serves an amazing dish of food, I always go back.

11. I am one of the most loyal friends I have ever met. If reciprocated, I am still in touch with friends from childhood and college days. There is nothing so beautiful as someone who knows you from your younger days. One of my childhood friends gives me a bad time about my freckles...I used to be peppered with them as a blonde haired stringbean of a girl. But thank goodness there is one person on the planet who knows that girl, sees that girl and reminds the girl that she exists still.

12. Speaking of long-term friends...I am still trying to reconcile myself to the sudden (to me) death of a friend of more than 23 years. We lived in different towns and I got the word he was critically ill. I called him on the phone and we talked for about a half hour on a Friday. Monday he was gone. My heart is so sore that my comrade in so many of my life's major events, my encourager and friend in cerebral silliness is gone forever. I have a million memories and feel the luckiest for having my friend near day after day...but oh how I miss him.

13. I am a hopeless romantic. If you look at my track record it's easy to see that I live as I believe. But honestly, it's all in the timing. If a person is lucky to meet that right person early in their life, life is blessed. If you had to wait, like I did for 47 years, life can have unexpected and unwanted adventures. While I feel totally "seasoned" I wished I had met my James in my 20s. He gets me completely.

14. Berri-oholic. I love berry anything. Looking in the fridge yest. I noticed raspberry yogurt, strawberries thawing out to go on pancakes, a berry pie in the freezer and I was craving huckleberries. Same same for bacon. Great bacon anytime its available, is a friend of mine!

15. I am a dentalaphobic. From a truly bad childhood dental experience, grew a deep deep scared of sitting in dental chairs. My older daughter is nearly done with her ortho adventure and I promised myself and my family when she is finished and I have the co-pay in hand (which I do!) I would go in for an overhaul..I am scared.

16. Right before I fall asleep, my mind drifts to fantastic shapes, colors and patterns. I used to write them down, they were so amazing. I need to write them down again.

17. When I was a young girl I could do a standing front flip. No running just stand in one spot and flip over. I practiced all one summer. I would kill to do that just one time.

18. When I was a girl my older brother used to lord over us and get the first pick of cereal to eat because he said he could. One night my sister and I got up and picked every raisen out of the raisen bran and resealed it. I can still see the look on his face when he opened up the bran and no raisens fell out. My sister and I, cooly enough, keep straight faces!

19. I have known from day 1, I was a writer. When I was five, I was fascinated by words; when I was six I was reading; when I was six I got my first pad of paper. Women in my culture didnt grow up to be writers so it took me some time to go there. Wish I had followed my heart and gone to writing without the ballyhoo and side distractions.

20. I wish I could have my kids and family over for dinner on a regular basis. Although everyone is doing well, the distance is hard. Can cha' just come over and eat and laugh with us??? Come on!

21. I stopped coloring the gray out of my hair and found out my natural color was more black than the blonde I thought I was. Its weird (or not so much) that I really look more like my siblings now.

22. I remember phone numbers like no other, but cant remember appts. Go figure.

23. In less than five years I hope we are living in the SW. It's my dream of dreams to wake up each day in the SW sun and color.

24. My hero of all times is my Grandma Laura Pearl, followed closely by my Dad. I didnt know it at the time, but she was the first adult to give me undivided attention and love. When I spent my summers with her I was happy in a way I couldnt express. Sleeping in her flannel nightgown next to her, she would talk to me about life and responsibilities while at the same time, listen to talk radio. We could hear coyotes howling up on the top of the hill from their farm house and we would sit in sun and eat fresh onions and she would tell me ways to fix the gooseberries we had just picked from the bush behind her house. She told on my mom, who was her next to the youngest child...mom was wild and wilder...and its good to know these stories. Grandma just wanted to know how you were doing and when I was next to her, I was always doing fine, thank you. I try to remember that feeling and bring it to the seven little ones who call me grandma. It's a total privilege to have their love.

25. My all time dream was to be a big haired back up singer in a rock band. And I really miss wearing highheels since my knee and one foot surgeries. And my friend Flo and I always said we would retire wearing hairnets to keep our hair just fine, with the windows rolled down in our RV, eating rolls of cookie dough. Favorite website: www.postsecret.com. TTFN! Wow do I feel purged and a touch overshared!

One of my all time favorite photos, left to right, my James, Mer, Seth and Lex. I love you guys!

Updated last Sunday - Comment - Show Comments (4)Hide Comments (4)

Seth Wrinkle at 10:35pm February 1

Awww! Thanks for sharing, mom!

Kay Moreau at 11:42am February 2

This is so cool to read. i enjoyed every word.

Nancy E Anderson at 8:22am February 3

I feel like an unplowed field; like the earth of my soul is just waiting to warm up and expose its richness. Time, where is it going?

Love you Deb. You mean the world to me and always have. NE

Lexie Aggeler at 4:53pm February 4

very cute mama! ♥

My Notes

25 Random Things About Me 2-1-09

by Deb Richards (notes)

Really proud of mee self

A promise to myself, not to be construed as a resolution, is being kept. It's been very interesting to learn with more focus, I can accomplish goals, tasks and promises. I vowed during the holidays when preparing the perfunctory holiday cards I would stay in regular touch with the people I love but didn't do more than send a once a year card to. This list of contacts includes my college roommates, nieces, nephews and friends whom I deeply cherish but have someone lost the good connection.

The promise includes a weekly phone call, no matter the length to my friend Steve (college) who recently divorced (finally what took you sooooo long!!!!!!!!!), retired, is having his only son graduate to West Point (and mind you the cadet's dad and I topped the slacker list for a period of time in college). We have been talking weekly about random anything where we are spending our energy. I feel 20 again. I love this. I am also picking up the phone and talking to a former work colleague who married and moved down the road over the summer. She is a first time stepmom at nearly 50, so I feel I might have some ideas to keep her keep the sanity. She rounds me out in the spiritual department. Lord knows (no pun intended) I need some rounding out. There is now and then movie nights with former colleagues where we eat popcorn and movie junk food together, call it dinner and laugh as much as we can. I helped sponsor an impromptu but very sweet post-wedding shower for friends who lived together for 12 years and couldn't do a baker's dozen unmarried. That made me feel so good.

I am texting my 30 something nephew in Idaho and sending regular I love you's how u doing to a dear niece in Florida. She is the mother of two little ones, including a new son recently diagnosed with autism. I am calling my mom at least once a week while driving home from work just to hear how life is for she and my prince of a stepdad in WARM Arizona.

My colleague roommate whom I have renamed Flo Cline (we were ugly stepsisters one night 20 years ago....we rented an overpriced condo in Central OR with former acquaintances...the acquaintances were prom queens in a nice sense who just were too immaculate in all ways, around the clock. Flo and Marge were born the night the four of us went out to a joint for some rock music. The PQs were asked to dance all night--size 4, fully coiffed right down to the silicone. Flo and I couldnt compete, so we drank something powerful and put signs on our backs. Mine said "ugly" and hers said, "stepsister." Laughing through the hurt of being unchosen has stayed with us for more than two decades. She is also Cline because of her off and on relationship with her small hometown radio station where she spins classic country tunes. As a Patsy affecianado, I dubbed her post-haste). Flo and I try to keep the cheer moving to and fro between texting, emails, phone calls and now Facebook. It's downright funny watching the two of us morph into new technology.

Finally, all praise to my son in PDX and SF daughter for their very regular phone calls, emails, texts and bits and pieces on Facebook. They understand how bad their mom vibrates if I go too long without hearing their voices. They set the standard for good communication between people who care. Communication, communication, communication. I am proud of mee self for staying faithful to me promise to me.

And ....as the very cool waitress at my favorite Greek restaurant said last week: "If I don't sing my own praises do you think my teenagers are going to do it for me?"TTFN