Wednesday, March 25, 2009

hacked part II


So paypal didnt stop all the hacker's request for money and some more came out of our acct. Numerous trips to the bank and hopefully now....the bad people are cut off. We now need to file complaints with the attorney general in the state this so called company is licensed with.
Its a day time nightmare because it doesnt end when you wake up.
Hope we have closed it down and dinero will be returned to us.
Love the part where we call paypal and our call center rep has an Indian accent so hard to understand...

Hump day at work and I just want it to be going home on Friday. Its not a stressful week just action packed.

Finished a complete book last night. That is restorative. I love Italian detective Salvo Montalbano stories. The best I ever read! My dream is to own the whole series. Thanks Richard for sharing!

Lots to do so off with me!
TTFN

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Hacked

Received text from new hubby yest am that our accounts had been hacked and $ taken but then restored by the fraud departments of paypal and the bank. He spent the day closing and reopening accounts, changing passwords, freezing, unfreezing money. I have to give credit to the fraud departments for their vigilance. The likely suspect at this time, comes from trojans which were encased inside three MP3 downloads. Wow.... you would think our overpriced anti virus protection would have caught these during the downloads.
I always do banking in the early am and yest. for reasons I can't remember, didnt. And he never does, but did....grateful....for the dyslexic change of duties.
In other news daughter had a second and from sounds, positive interview with Amazon.com She also has an assessment test she scheduled at her 09 community college. Wow... my heart just about stopped yest.
As for moi, with the help or should I because of excellent Mrs D co-worker, the stress free week at work is coming along nicely. I am determined to stay in the stress free zone all week.
Post-spider report: coming along nicely. Alot of paperwork generated because of it. Was told yest they will be spraying our building. That's good. I dejunked my area in case there was a habitat for the pests...and am hyper vigilant now...but still aint scared of no spider.
more soon...ttfn

Sunday, March 22, 2009

how to live a balanced life in one day

There is never ever enough hours to get all the shoulds and wants done. Not even.
Have a new Det Montablano book that needs reading; a garage to clean, flower beds to weed, yard to work on; garden seeds to plant, repainting to do and more. Yet, I want the Sunday sunshine and the book and the excellent joe to sip on.
We are going to take a ride out to what is called gravity hill- a true phenomenon where you start up a hill, put your car in neutral and the car is pulled up the hill about 10 miles an hour. It never fails. Its so cool.
But mostly to take a ride...
More soon.
Miss my big kids and grands.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Bite, better

After a glorious 77 degrees yest, its back to dark skies and rain.
Bite is feeling a bit better today.
WISH I HAD GOTTEN SPID-Y POWERS! I feel cheated! Just horse pills, an L&I claim and a sore right side.
Weeded a little yest using my left hand and side; slow going but at least i was under the sun and going.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Bit, still

Right side and arm hurt to touch or move. Crazy stuff!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

still bit

this is weird stuff.
sad about the untimely death of 45 yr old natasha richardson.
more when i feel better.

Bite

I never realized before how the word bite is an onomonopia...but with one minute before I go out the door to work, I must not digress! A quick word on bites.
A fast little spider ran across my desk late yest afternoon at work. It skittered then when I tried to nail it with a rolled up stack of papers, it went up my blouse sleeve, I felt a quick bite and it fell out dead after I was shaking and doing the hula in my cubicle hitting myself with the paper. (Yes, this is my real life and its really how it happened.
Several hours later I am at the pizza joint for my stepdaughters's 29th St Paddy's day bd meal watching her boys don false beards and mustaches (they are 12 and 7) and feel immense swelling, pain on my right side.
I ended up in the 20 mile away ER for an efficient hour where they declared me spider bit and gave me horse pills to take for seven days and benadryl. Lots of instructions on side effects of spider bites. Today, it hurts like a mother.
Don't that Bite?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Overdue and quite lovely thank you!



We gott 'er done!
First photo, youngest daughter-my best girl, self, new hubby and daughter's friend who stood in so graciously as best man when ours (groom's brother) mysteriously didn't show.It was her first gig as best man!


In the second photo my nearly-husband is laughing as I ask the preacher to repeat the will you question. I totally whited out and couldn't remember a thing he said!

Well blogging means you never have to say you are sorry since you are keeping the blog fresh and timely, in its nature. Wrong. Not sorry, but feel remiss and miss writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's 6:30 a.m. and I just woke daughter and friend for school although they told me multiple times, no school until noon today mom because of WASL...well, that was last night!
The wedding deed was a sweet one.
It was an adventure I always promised myself to try one day; the kind where I put my hands down, zip my lips and just go with the moment that I had no hand in planning.
James and I married Sat. in a simple, sweet ceremony done by a stranger whom we gave no instruction other than Getter done!
I had no perfect dress (the one and sole dress I loved in the dress market near home was not quite a good fit and no time for alterations). I wore what I wore to work; I got a pretty for the hair, found my heels I never wore and polished them; tried to get a good night's sleep and hope for the best.
In the morning to pass time since we were scheduled for high noon, I got to watch The Reader, the Kate Winslet Oscar movie. Very powerful. I am sure my younger self as a bride couldnot sit down with a cup of joe and watch a full length movie. I was a nervous wreck waiting but this movie was the perfect foil for nerves. I thought while watching the movie, how middle age love and romance bear zero resemblance to young love or first love.
In this case, we had rings sitting in the drawer for years; and tho we both have gained a few pounds the beautiful white gold bands fit nicely; check.
Clothes, check; hair check. James' brother didn't show for mysterious reasons to be best man, so we asked our daughter's friend of a lifetime and lo, James had an 18 year beautiful girl for his best man; my youngest was my best girl--and both girls were sensational in their role. The flower order was incomplete so we had to wait for the planner to run down the street for a quick bridesmaid bouquet.
I was sheer nerves for unknown and still unknown reasons. We laughed alot during the ceremony I know; I couldn't remember what the preacher was asking me, was it a yes question or an I will or should I nod my head; I asked him to repeat the question.
In 10 minutes we had a bride and groom.
We followed the little ceremony with fantastic visit with friends and girls at a 50s diner; the groom and girls had their photos taken with Elvis; the food was amazing and my side hurt from laughing and my mouth hurt from smiling.
In all of this I found something inside me that made marrying my comrade, co-alpha dog-sparring partner, best friend even better: I found I could live without control or trappings.
There was actually about three of the 100 elements at play during the wedding I liked and yet I purely loved it all. The spontaniety of the event did not tarnish or diminish the moment in the least; our families largely had other plans and told us to stop by later. No problem. Not fancy clothes or fancier trappings or more orchestration or more of anything would have made our moment any sweeter, lovelier or better in any way. Becoming a married couple has nothing to do with any of those things. It's the who and the why. I just got on the wedding merry go round and had one of the best adventures of my life--because everything was in alignment, the outer trappings meant nothing--hallelujah! A big stick I never thought I could jump over...
We had two sets of friends who chose to make the drive and spend our moment in time with us; our kids who could, did too. We will have a reception soon and invite those who can to come have more celebration.
My groom and I both still feel a bit bothered by having a piece of metal on our hands. We both think I want to take this off (since neither of us wear rings on a regular basis) and then go, oh yah...this is my wedding ring. It's funny and sweet.
He planned it, I attended willingly and then when I got up this morning, he set our official wedding photo to the screensaver on his computer (this one). There's nothing more to say, except lucky us and happy us and may we always feel just like this!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Weird vibes

Thngs are OK but dont make sense; snowing in March; sleeping hard but tired; should be happy at granddaughter's 5th birthday but sad because she and her sister are not living in tri-cities aymore...long story. Work, can't make progress...too many overlapping deadlines...
More soon!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

brains so full


I need a pinky to carry my brain. It's so full of stuff both minor, medium and major I can't think clearly. It's surprising I am remembering most of my to do list items.
Before I go any further I want to say thanks to MrsD my coworker for returning to her hot seat at work today; she turned the ebb tide which was getting ugly and dark early part of the work week. We have undertoad dynamics at work and it will all be fine later, but for now, I only want the work week to be over.
Information about work activities, health issues, doctor and lawyer appts, graduation, aging parents, maturing children, taxes, financial aid for college, upgrading the house, sinking stock market account,bad wardrobe, neglected greying hair, rugs that need cleaned, cards that need sent, some have Santa on them, emails not written to friends--hi Richard, will write soon I really will!!-- and much much more.
I am weeks overdue to the library, but I did find my seeds for the garden today while looking for something else.
My college roommate Gina said laughingly when the time comes we will do a Thelma and Louise. I said i would love too but could we make it a mud puddle since i am afraid of heights.
Cat woke me up at 2 am playing with the shutters....so tired on top of it.
I am living for June 1.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Friday, February 27, 2009

Friday night and the girl is out, come on over to the twist and shout

Actually am just home fresh off a sweet young friend's 19th BD party; it was a family hoedown with 17 attendees. I loved sitting around the dinner table just visiting. My daughter on my right, my better half on my left and random birthday conversation was bantered around the circle of friends and family. Just right. Nearly perfecto way to conclude quite a week.
Tomorrow we travel to PDX for the very fun day of celebrating son's 25th bd. OMG. How can I possibly be a quarter century older. This is my first born we brought home to sleep in the bottom dresser drawer for a little while until payday when we could finish buying his bassinet (it was on layaway). I heard a baby crying in the night and it kept crying. It was like a something I was dreaming. Son's dad said, aren't you going to get up and take care of your son? Oh that's right! I had a son! We had just bought a one bedroom house the size of three car stalls at A&W. But it was ours. I drove an orange VW and the ex a beater truck. And I held the boy on my lap, wrapped in a new stretchy blue cotton baby blanket (car seats were not widely available then) all the way home from Walla Walla in the beater truck, touching his soft as flower petal skin. He was a miracle.
Morphing on March 1 25 years ago, from a singleton to a mother, was profound in too many ways to recall. All positive. Love and meaning bigger than any notion out there...
And tomorrow we will gather with the three foot cake I found at the local bakery, in the jacuzzi suite and have us a day! Meet son's gf for the first time; youngest daughter will stay all night with brother and icing on the cake, my college roommate is able to join our festivities! EEHAA. If older daughter, Typing Vigorously were with us, it would be so perfect.

Speaking of the sweet girl who turns 23 on April 1; she had a bad shock this week; found out her ex-step-sister was the victim of a horrible meth lab related fire a couple days ago. Daughter is so caring and sensitive and is trying to process deep unexpected grief.
Let it go and feel it all daughter. There is nothing magical about grief except to process it and hang on to the good memories and allow the rest to rest in peace. It's a tough thing to listen to a child suffer and be unable to make the pain go away.
Full on sun today. Oh it was life changing, this winter has been long, dark, wet, dreary. More, soon, please.
I need to sleep. Stayed up too late last night.
Much more soon, TTFN

Monday, February 23, 2009

being bad as a sorietygurl

I am a sorietygurl now. Facebook has an application which is totally riveting--i am a true anti-social so its living vicariously as a mini skirted avatar.
What a horrendous drive home in pouring cant see one thing in front of me downpour.
Wet, cold, i opted for kfc instead of salad too wet to getout of the car to get salad supplies.
ttfn

Friday, February 20, 2009

Here's some heaven on earth




BACON WHOOPEE

What’s that you’re eating? A chocolate eclair? A bean and cheese burrito? Peach yogurt? Pan-seared salmon with buckwheat soba noodles? Whatever it is, we know what you’re saying to yourself right now:

“This would be so much better if it tasted like bacon.”OK, nobody ever says that (except bacon oholics--count me in). But that didn’t stop J&D from concocting not one, not two, but three varieties of Bacon Salt. From Original to Hickory to Peppered, this will satisfy all but the most pathological bacon fiend. Bacon up your morning coffee! Sprinkle it on the cake at the next wedding you attend for a taste treat the bride and groom will never forget, or forgive! Keep some in your pocket to throw into the eyes of assailants! No fat, no calories, vegetarian, and kosher certified: your only valid excuse for not slathering your meals in J&D’s Bacon Salt is sanity.

Features:

  • Zero calorie, zero fat, safe for vegetarians, and Kosher certified seasoning salt that tastes like real bacon
  • Makes everything taste like bacon
  • Everything should taste like bacon
  • 1/4th tsp. serving size
  • Contains 135mg of sodium per serving size or 6% daily value on a 2,000 calorie diet
  • Great to put on eggs, grilled meats or fish, vegetables, potatoes, or any kind of food

Main Ingredients:

  • Sea Salt
  • Dehydrated Garlic
  • Paprika (spice and coloring)
  • Dehydrated Onion
  • Corn Syrup

20 thangs and let the sun shine!

I was supposed to sleep in this morning, but instead its a 4:30 wake up. I am just going with my body these days. I am not in charge, my middle age body is.

The list below is from a Facebook funny, where you type your name and the word "needs" into your favorite search engine, then create a list from the responses that make sense to you. *Yes time could be better spent, but aren't we all reading the Internet in lieu of doing other things?

Here is my list:
Google says Deb needs. . .
1.Deb needs help with whole words.
2. Deb needs a saddle.
3. Deb needs to police this forum to keep it troll-free.
4. Deb needs toilet paper.
5. Deb doesn't know what she needs!
6. deB nEeDs C o F fe E tImE
7. Deb needs cash, stat!
8. Deb needs a second guitarist (are you busy?)
9. Deb needs to look behind her!
10. Deb needs to trim her Chinese Pistache!
11. Deb needs money so she can buy advertising and print!
12. Deb needs a maid.
13. Deb needs to have no doubt!
14. Deb needs a truck!
15. Deb needs a variety in her undies.
16. Deb needs to just nourish her hair to restore it.
17. Deb needs to have a little fun.
18. Deb needs to stop bullies.
19. Deb needs to be installed.
20. Deb needs your help to get back to Austin!

Yesterday I left for work in a good mood; by the time I got home, I was unpleasant. And I was admittedly unpleasant at work when a peer co-worker (not a supervisory co-worker, a peer and also someone I enjoy) decided a process in a program I manage needed adjustment based on her observation of a one time faux paus which occurred because of a management failure to communicate down some pertinent, tho not critical information. I was unhappy she decided to take charge (I don't report to her), was unhappy she interjected herself into the process when in truth she is not available most of the time to review the part of the process she said needs review. I took offense for many reasons and to my shame, showed my impatience with her thoughts which were based on her observation rather than facts. All of this is very petty in the main, but was more telling of my need to cowboy up my game face when faced with criticism. I will be working on that.
A former mentor told me years ago a professional is one who never lets their true feelings take over. The dialogue must always remain professional no matter the topic, no matter who is in the hot seat. I failed on all counts, I was defensive many times over, I was downright prickly and very impatient and it all showed in spades. This is my age showing. When I came home I was all poopy about it too. Anything James said, I was contrary. I was not a nice person most of the night. I kept turning the interaction over and over in my head. I boiled it down to this: I am used to being in charge of my own program, have done it for years and I miss it. After I came to that conclusion, I put myself to bed.
Today will be a good day; I will it so.
Let the sunshine!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

ChaChing pennies from heaven

I know its a deep character flaw to publicly discuss good luck, but color me one of the weakest because it is the next day and I am still pinching myself: I gave myself a few hours off yesterday on President's Day. I wanted to do something mindless, not domestic or task oriented after stopping by work then hitting my usual thrift store haunts with no luck I got a flash to park myself in front of a penny machine at the local casino. I put in a 20 spot, bet 25 cents, hit 20 bucks then hit 20 bucks. At 60 bucks I switched up to a $2 bet. In what seemed like seconds, a bunch of bells and lights started flashing and a white flashing notice pulsated on the face of my machine screen to get an attendant, jackpot. I hit a penny progressive. Whoa... It seemed like it took days for them to go through the process of authenticating the win, paperwork, ID. Then they said play it off with a spin. The next spin gave me a second progressive win. OMG. At that point I am texting my family, calling them saying hey! this is shocking, amazing and very out of body. I promptly loaded up the stack of 100s they gave me and drove home whereby we had our favorite chinese hot and sour to discuss it. Considering our fortune to be in the fourth year of litigation with the State of WA over James' on the job injury, this will be a boost for us--if one can read between the lines. But you can also be sure I will enjoy one small indulgance somewhere in the midst of banking my penny win. The question is, what shall it be. I am leaning toward a facial! Gimme your ideas

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Lovable CURmudgeon & Gr8t V Day


Gran Torino and Clint Eastwood. Every thumb and digit up. We took in a late night show tonight to conclude a very excellent, relaxing V Day......whoaaa.. do not miss this show... Everyone in the show was changed by dirty harry fastforward 30 years + filthier vocabulary. CURmudgeon.
And yes we had fresh red raspberries on our brunch menu at high noon, grand biscuits, sausage, cougar gold cheese, chocolates, maple bars, starbucks, oj and good company. The valentine fairy brought azaleas, asst chocolates, card...so sweet..
Daughter's concluding her VD in Disneyland (oh we r all so jelous+1 great idea!). Cant wait to hear all about it.
Tired, more soon! TTFN

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Will write for RASPBERRIES!


Superb reading: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/12/14/magazine/2008_IDEAS.html

I am sitting here at 9 p.m. finishing writing speeches for two of my friends to give at their separate outings this week. One of them I said I would do it for free. But around 8:30 and I dont feel so overly well yet, I said it would cost them raspberries. See above. Raspberry love knows no boundaries!!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

amen

More on the bye and bye


Now that I am back from the land of disgustingly sick, and done with it I hope, I feel observant enough of the malingering winter weather to complain about it. Enough already! It's soon mid-February and we are still existing beneath fog, rain, ice, sleet, fog, dank, wet, slick. A 16 year old girl and and 25 year man were both killed in the last two weeks on slick roads. How much of their accidents were attributed to stupid is one question, but enough please of this depressing weather.
I am seriously thinking of finding some of those pseudo sun lights to keep winter-itus at bay. Better half is taking melatonin by pill and he is finding good results. I am a pillophobic and don't want anymore pills in me than necessary. He says his winter blahs are pretty much gone; my blahs are intermittently in charge.
Son and his gf are coming a week from this weekend. We will yes indeed be celebrating his 25th bd.....impossible that my firstborn can be 25. (mom's eyes get glassy and the reminiscing could potentially start here). Looking forward to meeting his Amanda and celebrating his quarter of a century big day! How is it he has been gone for 7 years...that seems so impossible too...(and yes I hate it...you too Mer!)
Youngest passed her senior project oral presentation last night. Good. We are edging ever closer to May 31...
Better half and I are back to our paint and furniture discussion; he hates my burgandy lazyboy couch and loveseat (built to last a lifetime!); I hate his white romeo single guy white leather couch; I hate the white walls; he hates color. We are close to one of us caving in and making a change. Stay tuned!
Need to start reading again. So behind in the areas of my life that matter to me. The honest truth is I just tonight, drug the last of the xmas boxes out of the backroom and into the garage....
SF daughter and her fella are spending two full days in Disneyland for their Valentines Day. How fun and adorable! She is lucky to have a social planner in the family.
Lots more but tired now. As my favorite gram used to say: "More on the bye and bye."
TTFN

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Me and Michelle


When we were on vacation last year, this poodle was hamming it up in the truck next me. Better half had gone into the convenience store and this girl was talking to me like a neighbor over the fence. When I got the camera out, she gave me this pose!

My last post had the ends of the sentences cut off...darn it. Hope you were able to fill in the blanks OK...if not, it was probably too much information anyway.
This is day 3 of being sick. I woke up Friday with the lousy feeling and its progressing to barking sore throat, hot and cold flashes, ringing ears. Drinking lots of air borne. No matter that Uncle Sam sued them for overpromising results, I get improvement from the stuff. This too shall pass, sooner is better as I have no patience for staying down.
WINTER won't let go! We have frozen tree limbs, frozen roads and freezing temperatures, freezing fog. Just a couple days of sun would restore so many.
STIMULUS: What does that really mean? I see the politicos are still being partisan in the depths of the second worst recession in our history. I am tracking votes of our local officials serving in DC. If they didn't contribute to a solution, they are going to hear from me and NOT receive my vote. If the current bill passes, new homeowners can get a $15k credit...how about current homeowners losing their home. Nearly 700,000 (depending on which newspaper you read) Americans lost their jobs last month. Our total US unemployment rate is 7.2 percent (its over 9 in nearby Oregon). How about a credit for the people losing their home? Not only is it devasting for them but do the banks really want these repos? It would seem that repos would keep the banks liquidity and bottom lines fragile.
BIRTHDAYS: We keep celebrating them around here. We have celebrated BDs for 18 year old, 52, 80 and have son's 25th and daughter's 23rd and grandson's 7th all in the weeks ahead. It's all good but ....so much cake equals so little good eating habits!
TEXTING and FACEBOOK: It's how I am staying connected to my kids, family and friends. Talking on the cell phone feels almost obsolete.
DREAMS: I am dreaming again, which is far better than the silent sleep I have been having. Last night I was walking down our little main street with First Lady Michelle Obama. We went into my favorite bistro for coffee and were hearing all about how another newspaper editor quit. Oh brother. It was really relaxed and kind of cool, but I couldnt get the photo feature on my cell phone to work to get a photo of Michelle and I.
I MISS WRITING FOR A LIVING. Yes I do.
TTFN

Saturday, February 7, 2009

25 Things

Notes about Deb

25 Random Things About Me
1. I was born 9 months and 2 weeks after my parent's wedding day: so I have felt I have always had love child bragging rights!

2. My life honestly began when each of children were laid in my arms; when I touched each child for the first time I became serene and felt an incredible overwhelming love; my place on the planet felt defined and the context of life made sense; the life I led before my kids seems now, while good, pale and self-indulgent. My son and two daughters are so amazing I am always afraid somehow they will be repo'd and given to their rightful parents!

3. I am a firm believer in intuition, responding to the inner voice and angels. More than once I have found myself where I needed to be, in response to an emergency situation, that I didnt know had happened. I just showed up and family members said, "Hey! We have been trying to call you."

4. I am a polio survivor. I got a swine flu shot when I was 20 from bad Army flu vaccine. I nearly died quite a few times during my three months in ICU, but was too young to really think it would happen. I was irritated that I was inconvenienced by being sick! I weighed 96 pounds when I was discharged from the hospital and went to college using a walker...and obviously ate my way back up to good health!

6. I won $5,000 twice playing BINGO and I am not really a BINGO player. Once right before Xmas and another time while goofing off with a friend in NM. The time in NM it happened so fast I didn't know what was happening. My name was put on a wheel and spun. If the ball had landed over just one slot I would have won $1million. Both BINGO wins I had just dropped in on impulse. My dad and I were staying at a motel in NV when we took a road trip; if I hadn't dropped the third quarter on the floor I would have won $25,000. Since there were just two quarters in the machine they paid me $2,500 in hundreds. That was the first night of our road trip....

7. I am dyslexic and pretty sure I have adult ADD. Left is right and right is left; when I am tired I mix up letters in words and watch out telephone numbers! I have to be doing 10 things at once, which is why it's good I am a project person on the job.

8. I live to be in the sun. When it's warm, I feel capable and happy. When it's winter, dark and cold I want to roll up in a quilt and hibernate, literally, until spring.

9. I love dirt therapy. If there is a job outside working in the dirt,I want that job to be mine. Right now I am plotting out the veges that will reside in the summer 09 vege garden. I want to try some new flowers too. Although I claim my thumb is black both in gardening and the kitchen, I am finding with each outing, the results are better and better.

10. I am a bonafide foodie and backroads junkie. I pretty much know the menu, house special, hours of operation and the perfect backroad to get to any restaurant in NE and Central Oregon and NE and Central Washington. I love life off the main road...the view is real, unhurried and untouched. I love to enjoy food of all kinds and when I find a place that serves an amazing dish of food, I always go back.

11. I am one of the most loyal friends I have ever met. If reciprocated, I am still in touch with friends from childhood and college days. There is nothing so beautiful as someone who knows you from your younger days. One of my childhood friends gives me a bad time about my freckles...I used to be peppered with them as a blonde haired stringbean of a girl. But thank goodness there is one person on the planet who knows that girl, sees that girl and reminds the girl that she exists still.

12. Speaking of long-term friends...I am still trying to reconcile myself to the sudden (to me) death of a friend of more than 23 years. We lived in different towns and I got the word he was critically ill. I called him on the phone and we talked for about a half hour on a Friday. Monday he was gone. My heart is so sore that my comrade in so many of my life's major events, my encourager and friend in cerebral silliness is gone forever. I have a million memories and feel the luckiest for having my friend near day after day...but oh how I miss him.

13. I am a hopeless romantic. If you look at my track record it's easy to see that I live as I believe. But honestly, it's all in the timing. If a person is lucky to meet that right person early in their life, life is blessed. If you had to wait, like I did for 47 years, life can have unexpected and unwanted adventures. While I feel totally "seasoned" I wished I had met my James in my 20s. He gets me completely.

14. Berri-oholic. I love berry anything. Looking in the fridge yest. I noticed raspberry yogurt, strawberries thawing out to go on pancakes, a berry pie in the freezer and I was craving huckleberries. Same same for bacon. Great bacon anytime its available, is a friend of mine!

15. I am a dentalaphobic. From a truly bad childhood dental experience, grew a deep deep scared of sitting in dental chairs. My older daughter is nearly done with her ortho adventure and I promised myself and my family when she is finished and I have the co-pay in hand (which I do!) I would go in for an overhaul..I am scared.

16. Right before I fall asleep, my mind drifts to fantastic shapes, colors and patterns. I used to write them down, they were so amazing. I need to write them down again.

17. When I was a young girl I could do a standing front flip. No running just stand in one spot and flip over. I practiced all one summer. I would kill to do that just one time.

18. When I was a girl my older brother used to lord over us and get the first pick of cereal to eat because he said he could. One night my sister and I got up and picked every raisen out of the raisen bran and resealed it. I can still see the look on his face when he opened up the bran and no raisens fell out. My sister and I, cooly enough, keep straight faces!

19. I have known from day 1, I was a writer. When I was five, I was fascinated by words; when I was six I was reading; when I was six I got my first pad of paper. Women in my culture didnt grow up to be writers so it took me some time to go there. Wish I had followed my heart and gone to writing without the ballyhoo and side distractions.

20. I wish I could have my kids and family over for dinner on a regular basis. Although everyone is doing well, the distance is hard. Can cha' just come over and eat and laugh with us??? Come on!

21. I stopped coloring the gray out of my hair and found out my natural color was more black than the blonde I thought I was. Its weird (or not so much) that I really look more like my siblings now.

22. I remember phone numbers like no other, but cant remember appts. Go figure.

23. In less than five years I hope we are living in the SW. It's my dream of dreams to wake up each day in the SW sun and color.

24. My hero of all times is my Grandma Laura Pearl, followed closely by my Dad. I didnt know it at the time, but she was the first adult to give me undivided attention and love. When I spent my summers with her I was happy in a way I couldnt express. Sleeping in her flannel nightgown next to her, she would talk to me about life and responsibilities while at the same time, listen to talk radio. We could hear coyotes howling up on the top of the hill from their farm house and we would sit in sun and eat fresh onions and she would tell me ways to fix the gooseberries we had just picked from the bush behind her house. She told on my mom, who was her next to the youngest child...mom was wild and wilder...and its good to know these stories. Grandma just wanted to know how you were doing and when I was next to her, I was always doing fine, thank you. I try to remember that feeling and bring it to the seven little ones who call me grandma. It's a total privilege to have their love.

25. My all time dream was to be a big haired back up singer in a rock band. And I really miss wearing highheels since my knee and one foot surgeries. And my friend Flo and I always said we would retire wearing hairnets to keep our hair just fine, with the windows rolled down in our RV, eating rolls of cookie dough. Favorite website: www.postsecret.com. TTFN! Wow do I feel purged and a touch overshared!




One of my all time favorite photos, left to right, my James, Mer, Seth and Lex. I love you guys!


Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Really proud of mee self


A promise to myself, not to be construed as a resolution, is being kept. It's been very interesting to learn with more focus, I can accomplish goals, tasks and promises. I vowed during the holidays when preparing the perfunctory holiday cards I would stay in regular touch with the people I love but didn't do more than send a once a year card to. This list of contacts includes my college roommates, nieces, nephews and friends whom I deeply cherish but have someone lost the good connection.

The promise includes a weekly phone call, no matter the length to my friend Steve (college) who recently divorced (finally what took you sooooo long!!!!!!!!!), retired, is having his only son graduate to West Point (and mind you the cadet's dad and I topped the slacker list for a period of time in college). We have been talking weekly about random anything where we are spending our energy. I feel 20 again. I love this. I am also picking up the phone and talking to a former work colleague who married and moved down the road over the summer. She is a first time stepmom at nearly 50, so I feel I might have some ideas to keep her keep the sanity. She rounds me out in the spiritual department. Lord knows (no pun intended) I need some rounding out. There is now and then movie nights with former colleagues where we eat popcorn and movie junk food together, call it dinner and laugh as much as we can. I helped sponsor an impromptu but very sweet post-wedding shower for friends who lived together for 12 years and couldn't do a baker's dozen unmarried. That made me feel so good.

I am texting my 30 something nephew in Idaho and sending regular I love you's how u doing to a dear niece in Florida. She is the mother of two little ones, including a new son recently diagnosed with autism. I am calling my mom at least once a week while driving home from work just to hear how life is for she and my prince of a stepdad in WARM Arizona.

My colleague roommate whom I have renamed Flo Cline (we were ugly stepsisters one night 20 years ago....we rented an overpriced condo in Central OR with former acquaintances...the acquaintances were prom queens in a nice sense who just were too immaculate in all ways, around the clock. Flo and Marge were born the night the four of us went out to a joint for some rock music. The PQs were asked to dance all night--size 4, fully coiffed right down to the silicone. Flo and I couldnt compete, so we drank something powerful and put signs on our backs. Mine said "ugly" and hers said, "stepsister." Laughing through the hurt of being unchosen has stayed with us for more than two decades. She is also Cline because of her off and on relationship with her small hometown radio station where she spins classic country tunes. As a Patsy affecianado, I dubbed her post-haste). Flo and I try to keep the cheer moving to and fro between texting, emails, phone calls and now Facebook. It's downright funny watching the two of us morph into new technology.

Finally, all praise to my son in PDX and SF daughter for their very regular phone calls, emails, texts and bits and pieces on Facebook. They understand how bad their mom vibrates if I go too long without hearing their voices. They set the standard for good communication between people who care. Communication, communication, communication. I am proud of mee self for staying faithful to me promise to me.
And ....as the very cool waitress at my favorite Greek restaurant said last week: "If I don't sing my own praises do you think my teenagers are going to do it for me?"TTFN

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Too Old To Be Frustrated...but I am

I am too old to be frustrated about personal stuff. The 50s are the age of settled and empty nest enjoying life now. Hopefully this frustrated phase will pass soon....with some adjustments and hopefully resolve before long. When I get frustrated I often want to take naps to deal with it. I want more than anything to go wrap up in the down comforter!

On an external note: A day of sunshine and nearly 50 degrees. It warms me inside and upside down. I live for the warmth and the sun.

Cooking corn beef and cabbage...its smells so darn good! No one home to enjoy it so its cooking slow.

Lots to say but still sorting it out in my head. If I dont have any answers by tomorrow, I will write it out and hope that helps the sorting out process!
TTFN

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Educational reading

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1872229_1872230,00.html
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1870699,00.html?xid=feed-yahoo-biztech

Karma is on the loose!


Yesterday's weather was full on sun. The weather was incredible 50 degrees for a fleeting few yest. Open windows, place back to window and soak it in. Ah......this gorgeous sunguy is possibly my next tattoo design. . . :)

UPDATES: Youngest daughter had an excellent bd: check
CA daughter is now a resident and received her reduced tuition rates: super check
Getting tax information slowly for my tax people and should be done by the weekend: check

Four family members with health issues, two hospitalized, another heading we hear, to chemo; one has an inoperable bowel blockage and is not a surgical candidate; one has terminal CA and so much more. It all started about a month ago when my better half commented, while we were driving by our most used regional medical center: "Gee I am lonesome for <<<..hahha" I remember saying, "Gee, knock on wood because you just set the karma loose...."
I missed work the last couple of days, doing my part. It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that big families never have dull moments and its generally overlapping big stuff. Put on the game face, hope for a bit more sleep and keep going!

With any luck at all we will get to keep our bd dinner date for all you can eat crab up the road.

Am trying to keep reading; really distracted and attention span is nearly zero in that regard. So tired...
TTFN

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Great interview about writing...with the late John Updike

http://www.nytimes.com/
video on updike

Safe passage...so far

Daughter is not awake yet, but I am. Sitting here surrounded by the traditional full house birthday regala...balloons, streamers, picture posters, cake, kitchen table loaded with gifts and a bd message on the kitchen chalkboard.
Youngest made it safely to 18. A feat itself. Our work is not done, but safe passage...to young adulthood was made. Wheee
For nearly 25 years (half my life less 2 years) its been full on parenting. How dare son grow up and leave home 7 years ago; how heartbreaking when oldest daughter did the same five years ago...everything as they say it does, keeps changing. And so must I.
18 years ago, SuperBowl Sunday this fiesty girl waited until just 12 minutes after the bowl game was over before she made her first appearance...she beat the doctor and two good nurses, Sharron and Debbie ensured her safe delivery. She was born with an impossibly good nature and a super social and sunny disposition --add her insatiable ZEST for life. Thanks to her brother and sister for all their pseudo parenting and taking of the late night calls...from me during the last 6 years. They have been rough, very difficult and scary.
I pray for safe passage through the next waves of life and as for me, this milestone in my life, calls for a true celebration filled with anything but vodka!TTFN

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Sentimental Me and there is no fix for it!


SUNDAY: It's cold, wet, slick, gray, icy and lousy out. The weather people say some sun manana...could it be? Full of oatmeal, scrambled eggs, juice and coffee (yes, did not know we were out of bacon...sad sad and a minor crime) and with many chores accomplished, there are many more to go....
Ebay is getting a lot of my attention right now.. a little extra busy never hurt anyone.

Youngest daughter is turning 18 on Tuesday. I feel as fixated on her birthday this year as when my other 2 had their milestone birthdays...Being super sentimental around landmark dates, I get ultra transported ..a tiny girl wrapped papoose style in a blue and pink cotton blanket......she had long jet black hair.see photo above..i am laying her in her sister and brother's intertwined arms for the first time... I can still see myself watching those three close for the first time and I am weeping tiny tight tears feeling sooooo humble and very nervous sure I had been dealt all high aces by mistake...because truth told, I didn't even really like kids when I was young..up until my mid20s, I felt sorry for friends who had them.... This youngest one is growing up and she told me a couple nights ago she didn't really want to since she liked being a kid. Wow! I hadn't met a kid yet who didn't want to swing on the stars far away from their parents as soon as possible! I am still thinking her statement over...
Lots to do...more later
TTFN

Friday, January 23, 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Thank you keith oberman & production people

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/vp/28781343#28781343

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Its Champagne time and WOOHOO New President

Introducing our 44th PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES...Barack Obama! 1-20-09
I didnt want to leave the tv this morning but finally did...got to work and it was a close call, almost missing our new president's inaugural speech... Mrs Domestic and I had to make a run for it from our cubicles, back to my car, so we could inhale President Barack Obama's words...all the videos and online links began failing....and then our govt IT folks started blocking and firewalling our news links. WTH!
But we accomplished our mission (get well soon Mrs D) and then kept going.
I am sipping Asti, be it late..and alone, as my better half would get unforgivable whiplash from the too many bubbles this late at night.
I saluted everyone and everything I could think of, including my staunch Republican brother in law who is dying and polishing his guns ...he is soooo........... miserable.... we are having such a great time teasing him.
I heard from my kids today and it was a wonderful moment, sharing our joy and happiness for this time of new possibility!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Confused stubborness for principle

Editorials worldwide pillory Bush one final time

  • Kirschbaum Erik Kirschbaum Mon Jan 19, 11:59 am ET

President Bush walks away after saying goodbye to staff and friends after his Reuters – President Bush walks away after saying goodbye to staff and friends after his primetime address from …

BERLIN (Reuters) – Editorial writers around the world have been taking their final printed whacks at George W. Bush, accusing the president of tarnishing America's standing with what many saw as arrogant and incompetent leadership.

Some newspaper editorials, for all their criticism, suggested historians might just be kinder later on than those now writing first drafts of history. A success often cited by those seeking a silver lining was the United States' freedom from further homeland attacks following September 11.

Bush's successor, Barack Obama, will be sworn in as the 44th U.S. president on Tuesday.

"A weak leader, Bush was just overwhelmed in the job," said Germany's Sueddeutsche Zeitung under a headline: "The Failure." "He confused stubbornness with principles. America has become intolerant and it will take a long time to repair that damage."

Editorials hit out at Bush for two unfinished wars, for plunging the economy into recession, turning a budget surplus into a pile of debt, for his environment policies and tarnishing America's reputation with the Guantanamo Bay detention center.

Bush was given credit in some editorials for defending the United States against terror attacks after September 11, 2001.

Israel was most complimentary, of his intentions if not necessarily of his achievements.

"Of all the U.S. presidents over the past 60 years, it is hard to think of a better friend to Israel than George W. Bush," the Jerusalem Post daily wrote during Bush's final visit.

Last week columnist Caroline Glick wrote Bush "recognizes Israel and the U.S. share the same enemies and they seek to destroy us because we represent the same thing: freedom. But Bush never learned how to translate personal views into policy."

Canada's Toronto Star was categorical in its condemnation.

"Goodbye to the worst president ever," it declared. "Bush was an unmitigated disaster, failing on the big issues from the invasion of Iraq to global warming, Hurricane Katrina and the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression."

"Bush leaves a country and an economy in tatters," wrote the Sunday Times in London. It said America's national debt and unemployment nearly doubled on his watch.

Britain's Daily Mail said he entered office with a budget surplus of $128 billion but exits with a $482 billion deficit.

"He leaves the world facing its biggest crisis since the Depression, the Middle East in flames and U.S. standing at an all-time low.

"How will history judge George W.? Have we, perhaps, to quote his own mangled malapropisms, 'misunderestimated' him? On the plus side, after 9/11 he achieved what became his number one priority: to prevent his country suffering further attack on its own soil. Al Qaeda has been hugely weakened."

LEGACY OF WARS

The Scottish Daily Record observed: "America is now hated in many parts of the world. Bush leaves a legacy of wars and the world economy in meltdown. He has been dismissed as a buffoon and a war-monger, a man who made the world a more dangerous place while sending it to the brink of economic collapse."

The Economist found room to praise Bush on free trade, immigration reform and China. But its overall view was negative:

"He leaves as one of the least popular and most divisive presidents in American history. Bush has presided over the most catastrophic collapse in America's reputation since World War Two."

The Sydney Morning Herald complained about Bush's "singular lack of curiosity in international matters" in an editorial titled "Farewell to a flawed and unpopular commander-in-chief."

But it also praised Bush for improving U.S. relations with China and India, his efforts to fight AIDS in Africa. It predicted historians might one day rank Bush in the mid range.

Le Monde disagreed.

"It's hard to find a historian who won't say that Bush was the most catastrophic leader the U.S. has ever known," the French daily wrote. "One success: since September 11, 2001, there was no attack on U.S. soil. But this sits alongside an interminable list of failures, starting with the war in Iraq."

Germany, ridiculed as "old Europe" by Bush's former defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld for opposing the Iraq invasion, took aim at Bush.

"Bush brought great misery to the world with his 'friend-or-foe' mentality," wrote Die Zeit.

Stern magazine said: "Bush led the world's most powerful nation to ruin. He lied to the world, tortured in the name of freedom and caused lasting damage to America's standing."

The Pan-Arab al-Hayat newspaper resorted to bitter black humor under the headline: "We cried a lot and the joke was on us." It recalled his controversial election win in Florida and how he once nearly choked on a pretzel, watching television.

"Perhaps we could say that fate, which let the American people down first in Florida and then with the issue of the pretzel in the president's throat, ultimately helped them by making sure the president would spend half his time on vacation.

"Indeed, he would have caused twice the damage if he had been more active and focused."

Austria's Wiener Zeitung wrote Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad even ranked higher in one international opinion poll than Bush:

"The United States was once the symbol of justice in the world but that has been damaged by Bush. A web of manipulation has cost America $900 billion and the lives of 4,000 soldiers -- along with at least 500,000 Iraqis."

In Poland, the Warsaw daily Dziennik lamented the worst part about Bush's presidency: "It was empty rhetoric."

(Additional reporting by Jakub Jaworoski in Warsaw, Peter Griffiths in London, Alastair Macdonald in Jerusalem, and Francois Murphy in Paris; editing by Ralph Boulton).