Swine Flu PTSD + 7 degrees of me

The incessant talking head and media headlines of a possible pandemic, "Is this the one?" "Is it here?" made my spouse wantt to learn everything and he became an instant knowledge fount on Tamiflu. He wants us prepared as possible just in case. He has learned about the flu reactionary agent and has learned locally, we can can receive a dose, if we feel flu symptoms coming on. He has us covered. I find myself feeling strongly two very different ways.
The first is irritation at the media for being a rabid dog again. This swine flu topic is mighty important---but it feels like election time redux the media reported on nothing but the election. Too much! I may rue my words here, but please give it some perspective.
The stronger second feeling is the Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD) I am feeling about the swine flu discussion. The reason is ages old and I mean 33 year old feelings long packed, parked and put away about swine flu. Thoughts of swine flu are not only surfacing, but somewhat dictating my inner life.
I was 20 years old when I was an army private finishing my MOS and beginning my first assignment. I received a swine flu shot like everyone else in Ft Jackson SC. Jump ahead a few weeks when I was home visiting my parents; got up in the night to powder my nose and lost feeling in my legs. (more on 1976 swine flu outbreak: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1894129,00.html)
I was the 1 in 1,000,000 who had contracted all-out life threatening polio as a result of a bad batch of swine flu shot vaccine. I became paralyzed from the neck down; was in ICU for two months, most of it on a respirator unable to talk. As a matter of fact, all I could move was my neck for many weeks. I nearly died a couple times from pneumonia; once a student nurse put a feeding tube destined for my stomach into lungs; I nearly drown before an astute doctor came in and ordered the tube pulled and my lungs aspirated. I weighed 98 pounds--down from 130 when I left the hospital some 96 days after I had been delivered emergency style by my dad, following an extremely uncanny diagnosis by a dear family friend, the local chiropracter, to the ER. Just in time, my breathing was failing and they had to give me a tracheotomy before my first day in ICU was over.
Lots more to this story, but the words Swine Flu....the real thing, or used to describe a shot...or merely the words...make me relive over and again, bits and pieces of my polio experience.
As my old boss and friend Richard in WA DC says, there is 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon, and also 7 degrees to me. I have to agree right now.
Work was frustrating today, thanks to the acute micromanager in charge. That as they say, is another story for another day.
Sipping middle age people "good for you" blueberry and pomegrante juice. Aint nothing like a Singapore Sling or Brain Eraser. Oh for the younger days....
TTFN

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The times are havoc-ing everyone....in the past several months I have watched a family member's construction business tank and now it seems he and his family might lose everything including their marriage; a 30-something nephew with new home payments get laid off his highly skilled computer job; high school friends with three decades of experience get Friday afternoon pink slips; two friend's spouses with more than three decades get the word they are next. One child's significant other had unexpected layoffs in his megacompany sales department and we know the toppling will continue.
It's painful to think most everyone is on the line and for those who get the proverbial axe, everything you have worked for, can be lost or taken from you with speed. I have read about retirees going back to work; had quite a few friends lose a lion's share of their retirement portfolio in the stock market tanking, but the tanking is now closer and closer to home. If we lived in IL or MI, or other states involved in the car industry, I know reality would be incredibly harsher.
Having the Federal government for an employer at this point in our country's history is the most stable of all sectors. The Feds have been given a mission to help the millions of Americans who need tools or resources, to make the corrective U-turns.
I know this prattling sounds a little lame or hollow because we are not directly, albeit closely, suffering from the recession. The community we live in is thriving; the community I work in, is one of 27 communities greater than 250,000 not showing any recession signs.
The gods saw fit to bestow on me a Federal job last year after being gone from the Feds for 10. And we have have had our own suffering with spouse's four year old on the job injury-not only is his back broken and he lives in unforgiving chronic pain for the rest of his lifetime, we have had the obscene "pleasure" of four years of state L&I corruptness and litigation.
I am feeling for these people we love and praying for everyone too, for a break, a sign, that next opportunities are not only coming, but nearly in hand. Hang in and stay strong everyone! We will do what we can to help.

Gardening Bug Bit Hard & Mastic Resin

Bit by the gardening bug and hope it doesn't fade.
Something clicked in the brain this past week and said, pick up those starts of those gooseberry, strawberry, lettuce, cabbage, rosemary, thyme, rhubarb, tomatoes, cucumbers and eggplant; and while you are at it, start 90 petunias, sunflowers, bachelor buttons from seed.
These starts have partially and will continue to go out in the planting areas with the Valentine's azalea which needs transplanted and the three palm figs I started from CA fig farm seeds a year ago.
The easy and pretty inexpensive result is, looks like somebody lives here changes in the back living area. The plantings were laid primarily by the master gardener-better half; he in fact, has done most of the planting. But it will be glorious once we have more regular sun to go with the months of water, rain, gloom and wind.
Mastic Resin. I got hooked on the sound of the it and then read, this:
Gum Mastic resin - Pistacia lentiscus var. Chia - imported directly from Chios, Greece - No. 1 grade small tears.
Gum Mastic is a transparent, lemon-white coloured, tear-shaped natural resin from the mastic tree, which grows on the southern part of the island of Chios, Greece and nowhere else in the world.
Egypt imported this popular incense from Chios. It was a key ingredient in their ancient "Kyphi" recipes.
Mastic creates a light, balsamlike, fresh, lemony, gentle fragrance. It is cleansing, clarifying and mentally refreshing. In ancient Egypt, mastic was also called "the fragrance that pleases the gods." People in North Africa use mastic for incense burning as a tonic for exhaustion.
Mastic works well for meditation and reflection, its bright radiant energy is helpful when you need clarity.
It's also used as a natural and hygienic chewing gum; excellent for teeth cleaning and as a medicine for stomachache, stomach ulcer, diabetes, cholesterol, etc.
The mastic tree is an evergreen bush that grows up to 20 ft (6m) high. The tree lives about a hundred years and is fully grown after about 40-50 years. It starts giving its resin (mastic) when it is 5-6 years old. After about 15 years, it produces from 60 to 400 grams of mastic per year.
Since ancient times, mastic has been used as a natural medicine. A leaf fossil from a mastic tree has been found dating back six million years. Mastic oil and other sub products are produced from mastic and are used widely in medicine, the pharmaceutical industry, dentistry, and industry in general. A recent research of the University of Athens / Department of Pharmacy proved that Mastic and Mastic oil have remarkable antibacterial and fungicidal properties.
In the USA and Japan they produce medicine from mastic to treat stomach ulcers and help relieve stomach aches. Traditionally mastic is taken as a medicine to drop the sugar levels of the blood (diabetes) and to improve cholesterol
Followed by this food blog: http://www.honest-food.net
I also got hooked on learning more about cooking with ingredients other than what we buy in the store. The funniest part of all, is I am no cook! TTFN!

Mother of a Clown

My mother's heart was so warmed this am watching youngest and friend walk out of the house in their big clown pants and suspenders and make up. Destination: carnival for disabled children 50 miles north. The girls are doing their part to help a friend and her family with a once a year commitment to give a day of fun and smiles to children living with profound disabilities. I know her heart was in sleeping in; but I also know when she comes home, she will feel incredibly good for her efforts and it will be a feeling she will never forget. Photos coming when I can figure out how to transfer them off the camera to the disc then to the computer.
Tomorrow is Easter. I have done nothing to prepare for any kind of celebration. This is a first. We will see what the day brings. I am not feeling inspired and not sure why. Maybe the coffee just needs to kick in.
Talking to older daughter earlier this week we realized with this quarter of school over and one math class, she will be a junior in college and then its time to make transfer plans to a four year U. WooHoo! This realization was fantastic!! This is the girl who came in our door with a written out plan and she has proceeded with it. Move to CA with beaufriend (and this guy is every parent's dream...solid, steady, loving, compatible with our girl) go to school and work. And she has. I am proud and cant wait to do the big too doo for her college graduation! YAH Keep going Mer! xoxoxox I think she should have her own Dr. Meredith call in show. She is so intuitive about people and one can always hear her brain working working on solutions and analyzing the world as she works on solutions.
Full on sun. I signed us up for a community yard sale table on May 2 to finish cleaning out our back junk room. I am hoping to convert the junk room back into a guest room/office for me.
We will see.
We received a sad piece of mail Friday. The other side filed for an extension to May 11 to see if they can find reasonable grounds for an appeal on spouse's on the job litigation (four years old and nothing but hell). It was a slight chance with a small window of time and they took it. We believe the greedy she lawyer from Seattle sees more dollar signs in it for her. It means everything to us and a game for them. We both fell face first into a funk and I hope to reenergize. Its a ride from hell that wont end -- its demoralizing and painful. A bit of a setback. We might drive to the natural hot springs over in the blue mtns today to see if the warm and the drive can give solace.
We are going to try out a yoga class and see if that helps hubby's back pain. A little strengthening cant hurt and the socializing will help him.
On the upside, my mini flower seed starts are germinating like crazy in the back; if i can get them to grow, i figure even with the cost of the mini garden start set and seeds I will save myself $100+ in bedding plants.
And it wont be long until I can plant the veges in the garden spot behind the garage.
Need to write thank you notes for all the kindness we received during our wedding/reception. We are seriously blessed.
Dear Reader: please consider clicking on the google ads beneath this blog. It helps a tiny bit with job security for my daughter's good beau. Thanks for the clicks!
Thats enough; the shower gods are calling....
TTFN

100th Post While Still Holding My Breath

Must be some kind of a milestone day to be able to write this the 100th blog post while basking in the 77 luscious degrees! It's also the first official week of the 2009 MLB season and I am in hopes of having a good run for the Ms. The O's cleaned the Yankees clock last night. That is poetic baseball beauty and we hope (don't we Richard) the best foretelling of a great season!!!
The house is quiet; better half gone to a school board meeting and daughter is with her boy. I better get used to this as life is going to be different when she goes to college.
My flower seeds I planted three days ago are percolating in their mini starter green house on the back deck. My date palm starts which began as seeds from a stop to a CA date fig farm are now 1 year old. Only 30 more years and I will have three bonafide trees growing their own!
I meant to hit the library and load up on reading material, but didnt. Maybe tomorrow.
I went to ride my bike; total front tire was flat and no patches for the tube. Maybe tomorrow.
I have only had 1 slice of celebration cake du jour each day since Sunday. Although there are three mini enticing layers lathered in butter frosting sitting on the counter, I have been good (BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I am trying my level Obsessive Compulsive best to not start a count down until my big kids and their significant others are here for their sister's graduation. Once I start the countdown, I wont be able to get it out of my head. So no start yet.
Only five days left until the 20 day appeal period is over for the lawsuit. Overwhelming odds are, no appeal. But the window of opportunity remains. I am holding my breath.
I just this second realized its Easter this weekend. The new bunny cake pan I got for 50cents at the local thrift store is going to be put to work about Saturday! I plan on making bunny cakes. That is true aspiration.
I just read that one year, dream mentorships through my favorite writing venue, Fishtrap, for a mere six grand, is being offered. If I start saving now, I will be able to have a professional writing coach at my disposal for 12 months about the time I am 60! That is a dream of dreams, that opportunity!
Everyone at work was finding reasons to be outside. I could hardly concentrate. And the worst is, all of my workload will come down to be done at the last second, very last dogpile second, all at once in about a week. And there is nothing I can do about it.
James and I spent the past three days concerned beyond worry about his only male child who seems to have taken good leave of all his senses. We are hoping he and his fantasic fiancee' who I think of as "beautiful A." can work out the issues that have festered for too long. We are pulling for you A. Son we would like to put a collective boot somewhere if it would do any good. Enough there.
Time to fold clothes and consider what's next.
I miss my big kids and can't wait to unwrap my Blackberry Storm tomorrow and see how truly and generationally inept I am. But I am willing to wade into technofrustration land in order to have better access to all parts of my life. TTFN

Quite the Celebration

On a 70+ degree day the family and friends were out in full, minus a few signficant loved ones...and we celebrated! It was quite a day. They say too much of anything is not good for you; but three hours in the company of so many loved and favorite people gave me refocus. The love, the great conversation, adults on roller skates and families just hanging, passing the babies...it was all so good!
Great eats, excellent help from our girls and friends setting and cleaning up the feast. Won't be cooking for a couple days at least....
I looked around the room and saw the smiles on the people we love and it was humbling to realize we have so many good, good people in our circle.
More soon...need more coffee...

Sinking in

We have had a few days to digest the news we are done with the spin cycle from the State. We are marking days now to the end of the appeal period which is 13 more days on the clock. We don't anticipate any appeal but because of the horrific desire from hubby's ex-employer to try to punish him for leaving their employment with a broken back---yes, they are a sweat shop of the most desperate order--there is always the chance. We guess-timate they paid a disinterested Seattle lawyer more than $50k to fight his case. Why should an employer get to fight a case when the employee has nearly a quarter century of excellent performance - we are talking 2 times late in 20 years....and has paid into the so called insurance for three consecutive decades?
I digress.
We have the paperwork laying on the kitchen table which says repeal and remand. We won't file it in our home file box until the 13 days are over. And maybe will frame it. Slaying a dragon that is a system with bottomless pockets and a corruptness that defies description is beyond huge. We still are shell shocked from their punishment and until we get a next order in the mail providing the benefits, we remain so wary.
We did celebrate with the daughter, her bf, oldest grandson at Red Robin. Color me predictable. I ordered the largest size rootbeer float and drank it gone before dinner arrived. I needed to pack up all the dinner as I had room for about a half dozen bites before I was full. Joyous joyous time.
Better half and co. are deep cleaning every aspect of the house, garage and yard. There is no box, corner, cupboard, cobweb they havent attacked. It's also free dump day today by a glorious coincidence. So that's one of his destinations. Oldest grand is working for grandpa through his vacation and his help has changed everything. Daughter has too. She was surly on day 1, cooperative on day 2, by day 3 she was taking pride in the excellence of her work and told me she had to hang up to get on to cleaning the blinds.
Woooo......
Much more swirling in the olde brain...including im patience...can't wait to hear how my beautiful oldest daughter's 23rd BD celebration went yest. She was thinking it was going to be a surprise thing. Hope so! Big heart that she is taking care of everyone else's feelings and needs. Happy BD for the last time this year gorgeous!
Hi Richard! I owe ya a big email. Is it Spring, Winter or other in DC?
TTFN